Nell Goddard

musings of a clergy child

22 Oct

Without Words

What do you say when words are all you have, but words are not enough? Words that put names to your feelings but offer no respite. That give coherence to your questions but offer no answers.

What happens when you no longer have the words? The words that kept you afloat, that describe your thoughts and echo your emotions. Words that were once closer than your own skin, that came tumbling out as easy as breath, suddenly, gone. No longer will words suffice for all that you are feeling, all that you are thinking, all that you are questioning. Words cannot depict the confusion of your mind and the turmoil of your emotions. Words will not change the situation in which you find yourself. Words will speak but they will not tell. Words will cry but they will not comfort. Words will seek but they will not find.

What do you say when everything is said? What do you write when the words on which you have always relied suddenly begin to fail you? Black ink on a white page becomes a poor imitation for all that you long to portray.

For the first time, words fail you.

What now? Where next? Where do you go when the words have gone? When it seems finished but it feels so incomplete?

Be quiet, for a minute. Clear your mind. Free it from the jumble of sounds, the mess of incomplete thoughts and unfinished sentences. Quiet your head and still your heart. Listen not for words, coherence, or rhetoric. Search not for a thought to ponder, or an idea to entertain. Just listen.

It is in the quiet that you find the freedom for which you have been searching. It is in the stopping, the stilling, and the silencing that you realise that you do not need words to explain who you are, how you are feeling or what you long to say. No longer must you paint a picture of words to depict your thoughts, for it is the silence that draws your soul to the surface. It is in the deep, soothing, overwhelming silence that your soul begins to sing. The peace permeates every fibre of your being as, slowly, words evaporate.

All that is left is you. No words to clothe you, no sentences to hide who you are. Silence. Sweet, golden silence. And then, a whisper. A still small voice speaking in the silence. The voice of the creator is music, for it speaks truth to your very core.

There is truth to be found in the silence. There is hope to be found when words have failed. There is an understanding beyond language, a communication far greater than that of a human tongue. There is a depth of knowledge to be found when words fail. It comes in the form of a wordless whisper, in the silence of your very being.

Clear your mind. Quiet your head. Still your heart. And just listen.

'For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence, for my hope is from him' - Psalm 62:5

Nell Goddard

Hi, I’m Alianore. I used to be known as 'Nell Goddard', but then I got married and changed my name. I’m an author, blogger, and speaker. A theologian, on a good day. A Christian, a storyteller, and a friend. I tweet as @alianoree and you can find more of my writings in my first book, 'Musings of a Clergy Child'.